Dear Young Woman...(A Letter) EDITED

Below is the edited add ons; with an * in front.


So often I see these "letters to my younger self" making the rounds on the internet.  I am sure they are all well and good and can provide a therapeutic outlet.  But writing a letter to my younger self will not change the past.  It will not bring my babies back.  So I prefer to write a letter to the woman who is currently pregnant and unsure what to do.

Dear Young Woman (or possibly not so young),

I don't know you.  You don't know me.  But I do know what it is like to be in your circumstance.  You are currently experiencing an unexpected pregnancy.  You are searching the internet looking for advice.  You are unsure what to do.  Or perhaps you are sure you want to raise your baby or release her to adoption.  You have so many voices telling you what or what not to do.  Some of them you know personally.  Others are just noise in the media.  You have no room in your mind to think.  Girl, I know.  I feel for you.
Perhaps you are recently out of high school and planning to marry your fella.  Rings and wedding plans already made.  Perhaps you are in a casual relationship.  Maybe you are already married already with or without other children.  Perhaps you are still in school, feeling very scared.  Perhaps you never even consented to the acts of conception.  My heart and tears go out to you.
Whatever your situation may be those around you may be telling you to have an abortion.  Saying it is the only way or the best way.  You want so bad not to have an abortion, but don't know what to do.  The people talking you into having an abortion may be telling you things like it is just a blob of tissue.  It's not a person.  It is so small that it can't really be a person.  Yet, why are so many physical changes taking places in your body?  Yes, they are correct as to him being small right now.  Yet your body knows he is supposed to be there and changing as he grows.  They are telling you reasons why you can't have the baby.  Maybe you are countering them with how you will raise your baby in the best environment you can give him.  Or maybe you are countering them with the idea of adoption.  Whether the persons talking you into abortion are family, baby's father, or his family; perhaps they are telling you that if the baby can't stay in the family then he can't be raised in another family. 
Maybe you are on the other spectrum.  Maybe you do want an abortion.  Maybe those around you do support your decision.  Maybe they don't.  Perhaps you still aren't sure if you will be making the right decision.
I am not part of any organization.  I am new to the blogging thing about pro-life.  So I can't give the best advice that others can give you.  But what I can tell you is that there is a great chance you will regret going through an abortion.  And I do know how the after effects will be.  Once it is done there is no turning back.  There is no bringing that baby back.  Most likely you will go through many issues should you have the abortion.  Time does not heal.  Perhaps you will be fine for a while, but most likely you will hurt many years later.  To receive better advice than what I can give, please check some of the links to the right side.  This is a very short list of organizations that can help you, either in your decision of  raising the child or releasing to adoption.  There are many blogs that discuss what the abortion issue is truly about. 

* I would like to add that you may be scared to contact organizations or persons whom you don't know.  Maybe you are scared of the "judgmental pro-life" stereotypes.  Maybe you are scared of "telling others your business."  Believe me, I know how you are feeling.  I knew about adoption agencies such as adoptions within the Catholic Social Services during my first pregnancy.  I did not know of any crisis pregnancy centers at the time.  Perhaps they existed, but not as well publicized as now.  I was too scared to call them.  This being the era before the internet.  You may be saying "But I am not Catholic."  They will help you anyways.  And there are many other adoption services that are not Catholic or non Christian at all; please check here adoption services.  When I suggested during the "family intervention" about adoptions through Catholic Social Services I was told "But our family is not Catholic.  We wouldn't want Catholics to raise the child."  Or something like that.  Not calling them is the biggest regret I will have for the rest of my life.  I would rather wonder about my "good little Catholic" daughter and what happened to her and how she is doing now than knowing that she was denied a life for the "family image." 
*If you are reading this and knowing someone in an unexpected pregnancy who may be feeling the pressure of abortion or she is contemplating it herself you may be feeling discouraged if you are her lone voice.  Please, please do not give up.  Give her all the pro-life information you can.

What Were Her True Thoughts?

After finishing writing the Her Views Turned on a Dime, in regards to my mother's coercing of the abortion, I figured I needed to write the following before I continue any further.  I have a few questions running through my mind.

I am wondering what my mother's true feelings were when she found out I was pregnant.  Was she truly supportive of the pregnancy and my choice to keep the baby, at first?  Did she want me to have an abortion from the start?  Was her "support" a rouse to relax me and gain my trust?  Was she talking to "pro-choice" persons as soon as she found out I was pregnant?  Was she waiting for the "right timing" to spring forth coercing me into the abortion?  Had she been given talking points from Planned Parenthood or another abortion center about how to coerce me?  What did they tell her, if so?  Did they tell her I may object?  And how to counter my objections?  If there were crisis pregnancy centers at the time did they tell her?  If so, did they tell her how to avoid having me considering contacting them?   Did they tell her that I may bring up the suggestion of adoption?
Did they give her all the information in regards to abortion?  Yet, tell her to avoid any of the "grisly" details?  Or did they give her the "cute little phrases" and tired old tripe talking points?  My mother should have known the details.  As she had been a hospital nurse before I was born, along with working in a doctor's office after my parents' divorce.  My mother wasn't clueless about all the details involved in pregnancy.
Of course women who have been pregnant know the basic details about babies, pregnancy and birth.  But she knew the ins and outs details of the biology and terminology from conception to birth.  She still had her biology books from nursing school in the early 70's on her book shelf.  Along with books with updated info, from the early to mid 80's.
Did she know that complications, needless complications, can result from abortion?  Did she know that women still die from "legal" abortions?  Did she know that babies get torn to bits while being sucked through the vacuum?  Did she know that the abortion vacuum is 29 times more powerful than a household vacuum?  Did she know that damage can be done to the body; i.e. cervix, uterus?  Did she know that such damage can cause miscarriages in future pregnancies due to weak cervix muscles?  Did she know that overall infertility can be caused due to the damage?  Did she know that women who have had abortion can have a higher risk of breast cancer?  Did she know that women who have had abortions have a higher risk of suicide than any other groups of women?  Did she know that many, if not most, women who have aborted babies have regrets, whether soon after or many years down the road?  Despite what she told me during the coercion?  Did she not know that messing with a pregnant woman's body is damaging and not right, along with being very invasive?
I really would truly like to believe that she really was supportive of me and my child, her grandchild, at the beginning.  But it does make one wonder how she could switch views over something as trite as a dumb old unpaid speeding ticket!