My Name is Kathy, I Live in Michigan

In May I was considering coming out of the closet, the abortion closet that is.  I was contemplating letting friends and family know I have had two abortions.  With much fear, I came out.  Is it freeing?  Perhaps.  But maybe not.  What made me finally decide to do it?  Issues with my mother.

How did I do it?  Due to issues with my mother I was texting with an out of state friend.  I was feeling stressed.  I decided right then and there the truth needed to be told.  I wanted to shout it out on Facebook.  I needed to shout it out somewhere.  I felt like I was going to burst!  Problem was, my internet access was down at the time.  After much prayerful thought I gave my friend the go ahead to post to my wall.  It was scary.  I did not know if I was doing the right thing or not.  All I could do was trust in God.  Many of my friends are pro-life.  I even have a few family members on Facebook.  I was afraid they may think of me as a bad person - not for having the abortion - but for letting out the secret.  Even though they did not know at the time.  I was afraid they would tell my mother.  And my mother would get upset at me, for revealing the secret sin.  I did receive support in comments.  The friend who posted was kind enough to share said comments. 

Why am I not so sure if it is freeing?  As I said above, there is that fear of what people would think.  I was afraid of loosing friends on Facebook.  But at the same time if they are going to stop being friends because of a past abortion sin then they were probably never friends.  In some ways I do want to lose friends.  I feel I don't deserve friends.  I feel I deserve to be left alone. 

Why did I do it?  It needs to be done.  The pro-abortion side is going into overdrive with their agenda.  Using TV and popular culture to make abortion look cool and normal.  Attacking pro-life movements outright.  Also, I felt stifled in my talking about pro-life issues.  I would start to talk about something and then feel like I would need to hold back.  I was afraid of others wondering how I would know anything about what it is really like for a post abortive woman.  I was afraid of them knowing I was post abortive.  When reading comments to posts from pro-life pages on social media I would see nasty judgmental comments.  I would want to respond.  I would overthink on how to reply and try to sound as impersonal as possible.  One of the many specifics I have wanted to talk about is how I think the "doctor" from the second abortion is somewhat a Kermit Gosnell of Michigan.  I want to be able to share the pro-life books I have read, here on this blog and on Facebook, without anyone getting suspicious.  If everyone knows who I am, there is no reason to fear.  And not having fear is how I can tackle the pro-abortion side.