This is a post that I originally started in the Daily Thoughts Page, but I started getting long winded and decided to make it into a post.
It is after midnight already, so I guess that makes today Sunday
already. As I have stated, I do not have issues with God or
Christianity. Or at least not now. But I do have issues with church
itself. I have said that I am a member of a local Protestant church
that I really don't attend. I would like to get back to attending
church. But the thought of going does give me anxiety. Should I go to
the church I am a member of? A different Protestant church? But which
one? A Catholic church? Which I am somewhat considering.
The
issue is that the church, the denomination as a whole, that I am a
member of is known for it's liberal leanings. Their "official" statement on abortion is rather wishy washy and worded so the
member/reader can take the meaning to however they want. But basically
they are so called "pro-choice" in their dealings and actions.
I am a single woman. Never been married. No prospects on the horizon. The idea of marital status in most churches is that you need to be married, to be taken seriously. This even in the more liberal churches that "champion" gay marriage, homosexuality, and/or abortion; with a "meh" attitude towards premarital sex.
I feel that even in the church I belong to if I were to proclaim "I am a proud lesbian who has had multiple abortions. No regrets! My body, my choice!" I would be taken more seriously than being unmarried, heterosexual, conservative and pro-life.
Many of the churches that are known as pro-life and traditional family/marriage will look akin to a woman who is unmarried. Yet, not really so much towards unmarried men. The attitude is that the men are just not ready or something. But unmarried women are to be pitied. There must be something wrong with her. Maybe she's a promiscuous feminist.
Whether the church is liberal or conservative, women are expected to be married, unless they are gay. You will only be expected to be taken seriously if you can physically give them future members or pew sitters. Oh gosh, and the gossip. No one will talk to you, but will make up stories about you left and right.
Yes, I know, the focus should be on Christ. I am being guided in this area in finding a Christ centered Bible based church. But still, isn't community supposed be part of the church? If that is the fact, then shouldn't all Christians be accepted into the church community, regardless of their station in life?
Yes.
ReplyDeleteBut why?
DeleteQuick answer. Because the Church is the Bride of Christ, and you can't receive the fullness of the Bridegroom's gifts of forgiveness, life, and salvation apart from His Bride. And we who are sinners all need these gifts. There's an answer guaranteed to make everybody mad. But it's true.
ReplyDeleteI know what you say is true. But how does one get past the feeling of being the Goth Girl sitting at the Mean Girls table at HS lunch? Is one supposed to ignore that. Change it on their own? Or should the church change that within?
DeleteWhile not being snitty, I am just wondering. I know as you said above. But why would I want to go somewhere I am not welcome just because I do not fit a certain mold?
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DeleteThank you. I suppose no one can answer that question.
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ReplyDeleteThe problem with churches is that they are full of people, and people are people where ever you go. It is the ones who try to make you feel uncomfortable who have the issues not you. In what ever church there will always be those who consider them selves above the rest. As you know I "church shopped" for a long time. although attracted to the Catholic faith, I finally found a home in a Bible based, fundamental, evangelical-free church. Loaded with sinners, who are not afraid to admit that they are. We have them all, We have divorce, affairs, homosexually, abortions, substance abuse, We are all Hippocrates to some degree and we know it, that's why we go to church, we're trying to do better.
ReplyDeleteFind a church filled with people who are trying to do better with Jesus as their guide and you will find the level of acceptance you are seeking. Jesus wants you there and He will lead you there. God bless, Roger
Thank you for your comment Louie's dad. I know those trying to make me feel uncomfortable are the ones with the issues, in my head. But in my heart it hurts to be around such an environment.
DeleteI know myself, I am a sinner. There may be churches as you describe, besides your own. Unfortunately at some of the more liberal denominations they use church attendance as a status for their "life resume" and grab brownie points for all the things they do. It's like they want to be noticed for helping the downtrodden, but when the downtrodden show up on their turf i.e. church they turn their noses because they aren't part of the clique.
Then some of the more conservative churches can be like some emotional experience. If you aren't feeling some spiritual ecstasy you must not believe enough. Same with if you are sinning; you're not really Christian. If you still aren't healed you aren't praying hard enough. And on and on.
Please forgive me for removing my comments. I was unsure about their pertinence and thought them to be inadequate in addressing the valid questions you raise.
ReplyDelete