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Monday January 29, 2017
- Without sarcasm, snark, meanness, or animosity; I would like to thank the feminist movement and protests against President Donald John Trump. You have motivated me, a woman, to be strong and stand up for my rights. You have motivated me to stand strong for the rights of the unborn. You have motivated me to stand strong for the women who's rights were taken away when they aborted their babies. You have motivated me from my anxiety to accomplish more in my personal life and start doing things around my home.
- While that probably wasn't your intention. Your demanding abortion on demand while dressing up as female genitalia, wearing hats to represent female genitalia, signage with vulgar messages, and speaking vulgar words make you look even more irrelevant. Please keep up the "good work." The more you make a spectacle of yourselves the more likely you are to drive away your supporters who thought because some celebrity says this thinking is cool then they should follow along too.
Monday August 29, 2016
- Been working on a new post, for the past couple days. The thoughts are there. The words are there. But connecting those words and making a cohesive story is taking a while. Heck, I am even trouble stringing the words together to make sentences. A bit intense for me. I'll start in writing, having to get away from the post and taking mental breaks.
- This morning I was taking a walk and was thinking back to the night of what I (un)affectionately refer to as the "family intervention." Thinking about my daughter, Anastasia, being inside me. While we all were arguing about her life. I mean she was there! She may not have known what was going on. She could have possibly been feeling my stress in her developing body. But can you imagine, to be in the middle of a life and death argument where people are discussing whether you should live or die?
Tuesday August 25, 2015
- I hear stories of grandmothers who kill their grandchildren, every once in a while. Rare, though it is. Shocking? I suppose. Surprised? Not really. I mean aren't grandmothers killing their grandkids when they pressure their pregnant daughters to abort said grandchildren? And that happens more often than after the child has been born and allowed to have a childhood.
- I have stayed away from blogging for quite a few months. Not that I didn't have anything to say, because I did! Perhaps I had to much to say. So many thoughts running through my head that grabbing them and putting them to word was rather difficult. But there is a lot going on in the news about abortion. I can not stay silent. A lot of this blog is supposed to be my healing journey about post abortive revelations and musings about how personalities may relate to post abortavness. But these things, especially new undercover videos, can not be hidden. I may post about things in the news, soon.
Monday June 1, 2015
- Really been trying to get things done around the house and declutter. I would like to have a garage sale this summer. I do have a few boxes ready for that. But the motivation just doesn't seem to be there. Had to stop blogging and reading Twitter for a while. The pro-life news about abortion can get sad and depressing and I need to disconnect from that every so often. Once I think I am ready to work around the house somebody runs a lawnmower or lawn equipment and out comes my anxiety.
- Yesterday I wrote two posts regarding "Coming Out of the Pro-Life Closet" and a Rosary bracelet I made. In another episode of me being torn within the two me's I would like to make pro-life bracelets and other religious jewelry, to make available for blog readers and Twitter follower. The problem is, that there is no way getting around not being identified. I do have an Etsy (online marketplace of handmade goods and supplies) account already. I think I may could get a second "shop" but even still I would need to verify my PayPal account with my name and address. When selling an item, the buyer will then know my name and location. But at the same time, if someone who is pro-life is using their hard earned money to purchase from me-knowing of my abortions-then most likely they are not the judgmental angry type.
- I suppose this is something I have to pray about and consider. I going to weigh out all my options, pros and cons, reasons to do it and reasons not to, etc.
Monday May 25, 2015
- Finally out of the sick bed. Moving around somewhat. Will try to take it easy, but get a few things done. Today I will spend some time immersed in Scripture, Devotions, praying the Rosary, reading a few Psalms, Pray an honest to goodness conversation with God, make a few rosary bracelets.
- Wearing the pink pearl pro-life Rosary bracelet, Rachel's Vineyard Retreat inspired multi-stone Rosary bracelet for comfort during Devotions and inspiration while writing. And my great grandmother's wedding band to remind me of the love for family.
- Yesterday, Sunday May 24, 2015, I posted about desiring to attend church. I shared to Twitter, got many hits, but only a few comments. I am not whining about having church tailored to "fit my needs." I am just wanting to be accepted, for who I am. I hurt that not only does the world stereotype church attenders, but also church attenders stereotype themselves. And they seem to like their stereotypes and try to keep it that way.
- A commenter on Twitter suggested the book Vertical Church by James MacDonald. I did check it out on Amazon.com. I may purchase for my Kindle.
- Yeah, I didn't really get much done today. Or at least not as much as I wanted to. Looking around my house and the big filthy mess. I have wrote about my hoarding issues here. I wonder what kind of mother I would have been if I had continued my pregnancies to full term. Would I have let my daughters live in this filth? Would they be embarrassed of me? But, at the same time I wonder if I would have these hoarding issues if I had had my daughters. Would I keep a much cleaner house if I had my daughters to raise?
- Since finally "remembering" the abortions over a year ago I have been reading abortion information through social networking, pro-life sites online and a few books. Some lean towards the medical side, some the activist side, religious side and others are stories from real women who have had abortions. Sometimes I feel voyeuristic doing this. Especially reading others' personal stories. I wonder why I am doing this. Maybe I am trying to "normalize" the whole thing, to make it real. Allow myself to realize I am not the only one with this experience. I guess.
- So I have been thinking. Abortion was "legalized" during the Baby Boomer era. According to statistics abortion rates hit their peak in the early to mid 90's. This would be when most all of the Generation X were of child bearing age. Does that mean that the majority of women who have had abortions are Gen-Xers? Or that Baby Boomers "fought" to influence their children to kill their grandchildren? The Millenillials are said to be the most pro-life generations since "legalization." So many of their brothers, sisters, classmates, cousins, etc., are not here because of abortion. Is their fighting the result of as with most things in society; we are apathetic until we notice the problem is humungous proportions?
- Like I have said, I don't know what I am talk about. These are just things I wonder about. There doesn't seem to be too much information out there about Generation X and abortion. Actually, there really isn't much information about Generation X on most issues affecting society and/or religion. Still talking about Baby Boomers and now that most Millenillials have entered the adult world tons of articles about their influence on society. Truly, Generation X is the nothing unknown generation...
- I may not be Catholic but I do pray the Rosary. I say the "Jesus Prayer" (Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner.) on the main beads. I find it much comfort. Especially when I want/need to be close to God but don't have the words to pray and don't know what to say. I even have a few rosary bracelets that I pray a decade throughout the day, when I just need to stop and refresh and guidance from the Lord.
- Had a weird dream today. I lived in this really big house. By myself. It was full of wonderful beautiful antiques left from the previous owner. The house was messy and filthy. Thought about cleaning my bedroom. Then I realized I had another bedroom I could sleep in. After that thought I went into another room in this house. It was like a funeral parlor or something. There were macabre props like from a Tim Burton horror movie. The thought in my head was that I hadn't been in there since my great grandma died 20 years ago. But I was there to mourn someone. Don't know who though.
- Perhaps the messy and filthy house in the dream has to do with my hoarding issues. Maybe the macabre scene in the funeral parlor are a subconscious memory of the abortion clinic. With the thoughts of my great grandma being that she died only a couple months after the abortions and she never knew. I wonder if she would have sided with me had she been told I was pregnant?
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ReplyDeleteThank you for your comment. :) Yet I can't seem to find the information that shows one way or the other to be able to write a full post on the subject.
DeleteRegarding your "Daily Thought" for January 23, 2017: Wow! You said it all. Thanks!
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