Thursday, October 8, 2015

Your Neighbor Has Had an Abortion

No, not her.  The other one.  I know, surprising, huh?  She doesn't want you to know.  She doesn't want anyone to know.  Maybe it happened recently, maybe a couple years ago, maybe a decade or two or three or more.  Doesn't matter.  She is hurting, hurting badly.  Nobody would even suspect, unless told.  She seems so, so, normal.  But she's not.  Sure, she has a decent job.  Been working at the same place for quite a few years.  Seems to do her job correctly.  Gets along with the customers and coworkers.  Goes shopping.  Runs errands.  Friendly with the people she encounters.
Doesn't have problems with the neighborhood kids.  She is not ornery around them. Nor is she oddly obsessed with them.  In fact, they seem to like her.  But if only they knew.  They would think she was a bad person for killing a little baby.  Children love babies.  They think are cute and adorable.  They know, at a young age, that babies need to be cared for and protected, even when the mommies are pregnant.

But there may be one problem with your neighbor.  You don't see her much.  She tries to stay holed up in her home.  She waits until no one is around before she "sneaks out" of the house.  When you see her yard looking like crap (if she owns her home/rents a house), porch and space looking junky (if she lives in an apartment); you may think she doesn't care and/or is lazy.  She really isn't.  She does care.  Really, she does try.  But she is hurting.  Sometimes she is paralyzed with fear.
Many a time she will make an effort to plan on doing yard work and/or cleaning up her space.  But then she will hear someone running a lawnmower or weedwhacker and the anxiety will start up.  And all she wants to do is stay within the "safety of her home."  Not making excuses, but on a subconscious level, it could remind her of her abortion(s).  The noise will hearken her back to the noise of the vacuum aspiration machine.  She will project possible feelings of the baby onto herself.  In her mind, possibly, her home is like the safety of the womb.  The noise from the lawn equipment is the scary thing that has come to harm her.  Though the reality is she knows that the neighbors aren't going to come into her home and chop her up.  Yet she wants to stay within the "safety of her home."

You don't see her cowering under the covers laying on the couch.  Hoping to fall asleep and never wake up.  You don't know how she thinks that if the house catches on fire she would get up to let the pets loose outside, go back in and sleep again.  Even if her worst fear since childhood has been dying in a fire.

You're always seeing the UPS guy bringing packages from parts unknown.  Yet nothing seems to leave her home.  She has hoarding issues.  Perhaps it is related to her abortion(s), perhaps not.  At some point she looks around at the results of her hoarding and says "oh, crap!".  Then feels overwhelmed and doesn't know what to do.  In her heart of hearts she really does want to do something about it, but has no clue where to start.

I am not saying all of the above to gossip or put someone down, but rather as an open letter to those who may have a neighbor that is considered a "crazy cat lady."  Letting others know what may or may not be going through her mind.  On one hand, she wants empathy.  Though she knows she doesn't deserve it.  One part of her wants you to reach out to her.  Another part wants you to leave her alone.
As I have alluded to before, NEVER ask someone you suspect of having an abortion directly if she has!  If she wants you to know, she will tell you!

1 comment:

  1. Been a while, thought I should check if you've any thing new. As always you blow me away! I wish the neighbor the best in a hard circumstance. Seems to me she is being a little hard on herself. but I know how easy doing that can be. If your neighbor has acquaintances who've had abortions, I hope she remains in contact with them for support and encouragement. I'm sure any of them would gladly receive a e-mail or phone call. I know I would. God bless. Roger

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